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Lap Dancers of the Potently Potable Kind

Did you miss us last month? You know we sure missed you. Lest you think we blacked out after a bender (lies, all lies), we were told there just wasn’t room for us in February’s issue. (Hiccup!) But, we’re back, baby, and we have an atypical offering to share. As a nod to one of the gentlemen profiled in this month’s Red Thread, we are serving up suggestions for “exotic” drinks.

Eighty-six the Appletini — you’re sophisticated now, and these uncommon libations will both impress your date and leave the mixologist believing you really do know your Bartender’s Handbook.

And, even if mixed drinks aren’t your thing (and the Kiddush Club can sympathize), spread your wings — we know you can do it. Leave the days of a Sex on the Beach or Long Island Iced Tea behind — you’re classy and hip, urbane even.

From way south of the border and made with Cachaca (distilled sugar cane), fresh lime juice and sugar, the Caipirinha is kinda sexy, if an esoteric cocktail can be sexy. It’s the signature drink of Rio de Janeiro and a must-try for anyone who likes sweets, supermodels (aka Giselle) and fun.

Germany may be the land of beer, but they also make some of the good hard stuff over there, too. (Did you know someone can legally drink at age 14 if the parents are present?) Made with vodka and watermelon liqueur, the Watermelon Man is famous in Deutschland and a must try for anyone who likes watermelon, vodka — or drinking.

Made with grape liqueur, brandy, syrup, lemon juice, egg whites and bitters, it’s the national drink of Peru. Not only will you get points for a good, exotic drink, but how many people can say they know what the national drink of Peru even is? Stud!

Before you think we’re getting cheeky, this is a drink; and the guzzler is a concoction of gin, cherry brandy or grenadine, Benedictine, pineapple juice and club soda. Those Singaporeans, they are a clever lot. Make sure the bartender uses fresh pineapple juice, too, as to get a proper head on the drink; don’t let them stick it in a blender to get the foam. By the way, you’re drinking some history here: It was first invented in 1915.

Celebrated in its birthplace, Beijing, the active ingredient in a Cransoma is lychee liqueur. If Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw lived in Beijing, this would be her signature drink instead of the Cosmo. The lychee liqueur is mixed with cranberry vodka, apple juice, strawberry liqueur and tonic water. It might sound like an odd mixture, but it’s actually quite good.

It’s the specialty of a little celeb hotspot in Miami called B.E.D. Miami and made with Vintage 1987 Krug champagne, Cointreau, hazelnut liqueur, white truffle and fruit. You score major points if you bring this to your girlfriend with breakfast in bed. Knock back a few, and you may just get to spend the day there, too.

Who’s Pouring?

And, not to leave you high and dry (because we are never about “dry”), we’re suggesting a few bars we believe can do justice to one or more of this month’s offerings:

• Café DMongo’s Speakeasy, 1439 Griswold St., Detroit,
• Centaur, 2233 Park, Detroit, (313) 963-4040;
• 220, 220 Merrill St., Birmingham, (248) 645-2150;
• Fusia, 521 Atwater, Detroit, (313) 566-0000;
• Silk Lounge, 102 Park, Windsor, (519) 252-2068



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