THE DATING REVIEW
On The Mind
We humans tend to seek out other people’s opinions on so many things: movies, books, restaurants, cars, exercise equipment, Broadway shows, television programs — you name it, there’s a review.
At any given moment during the normal banter of our day, we can get a review on almost anything, or anyone, with just one click of the proverbial button.
“So tell me …”
It’s almost like we have all become walking Wikipedias, with an informational base that stretches past continents and large bodies of water.
For me, reviews are just subjective opinions or hearsay and are generally worthless. I prefer to rely on my own gut instincts and assessments.
A review is, by definition, a report that gives someone’s opinion about the quality of something or someone.
And, to quote my wise dad: “Opinions are like tuchases — everyone’s got one and most of them are not floral-scented.”
And then there are dates. Say your friend wants to go on a date with someone. They ask if you know this person. Within seconds, most people can come up with information and an immediate opinion. They have looked up this person on social media or have heard things through social networking and can give you all the information and knowledge you need — short of applying for a job at the CIA.
Or so they think they can.
So how accurate is the dating review?
Here’s the thing — almost no one gets a glowingly perfect review except a newborn baby who hasn’t offended anyone yet. As we age and go through life, we get into situations and make decisions that seem to attach to our actual character description.
These are the questions to ask yourself: What are the real intentions of the reviewer? Does the reviewer really know the person she is reviewing? How much information is opinion as opposed to fact or just gossip? How did the reviewer obtain her information? Is the reviewer a disgruntled employee, a former client, a best friend to the ex, an estranged family member, friends with a friend, or, better yet, friends with the friend’s friend? (Don’t you love third-hand opinions?) Does the reviewer dislike the person being reviewed, want them for themselves? Is she jealous of her, is she a former love, former spouse, former bookie, former drug dealer — former anything?
Time elapsed is the only way to see for yourself what someone is really like. Different people bring out different qualities in one another, and that is why it’s not fair to muddy up the slate before you even begin. I mean, if we’re talking about a convicted felon, rapist, thief — well, that’s different. But a relatively “normal” person, you won’t know till you know. And then when you know, you’ll know for sure — on your own. And you might find them to be the worst person or the best person ever to walk into your life.
Don’t ever let someone’s review cause you to miss a potential opportunity for happiness.
And something to remember …
“A weed in one person’s garden is a flower in another’s.”
On The Town
Here’s a review we can stand behind: Bistro 82 held the 7th-annual Athletes Adopting Families charity event on Dec. 11, hosted by Detroit Lions linebacker Stephen Tulloch. Spotted in the sold-out crowd were Golden Tate, DeAndre Levy and former bad-boy Detroit Piston James “Buddha” Edwards.
Defeat the Label is hosting its third comedy fundraiser, Bullying is No Joke, 7 p.m. Jan. 16 at the Royal Oak Music Theatre, and will feature actor JB Smoove. Get tickets at
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Karin Katz explores her Zen-centric journey into self-awareness through her nationally renowned blog BuddhaBarbie.com, which balances spirituality with beauty to help empower women. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org for comments, questions, events and sightings.