Some Post-Passover Thoughts

The Jewish News
Alan Muskovitz

Alan Muskovitz

Another Passover is winding down. By now, the last folding chair from your seder has been returned to the basement and that one lost piece of afikoman has finally been found — courtesy of the ants gathered under the rug you forgot you hid it under.

My niece Rachel keenly observed that the age-old question — “Why is this night different from all other nights?” — was never more appropriate for this year’s second seder. Why? Because of the stress involved in knowing your second seder was scheduled to start at the exact time you wanted to start watching Michigan’s Final Four match-up against Loyola-Chicago! Who could’ve predicted a battle between matzah balls and basketballs? I mean, you really didn’t want to DVR it, right?

I’m writing this prior to the game. By the time you read this, the Wolverines may be national champions. (I know, kein ayin harahs — no evil eyes.) And that’s not easy for a Michigan State grad to admit. But there, I said it. I’m sure I’ll get my share of grief, but I happen to like this U-M team and their coach, and it wouldn’t bbbbbbbother me in the lllllleast if they have wwwwwwon it all. Mazel tov!

MSU fans know that if things had played out exactly right, State had the potential of facing U-M in this year’s championship game. And having already lost twice to them this past season, well, that was one game I didn’t mind seeing “passover.” I can’t believe I put that in writing. Too bad nobody offered me any hush money.

Meanwhile, for those of you planning ahead, Passover 2019 will fall April 19-27, and Barbra Walters will be happy to know that Passover 20/20 will be April 8-16.

I’m still fascinated by the change in dates from year to year for our Jewish holidays. It’s the Jewish calendar versus the Gregorian calendar. The Jewish calendar is lunar-based while the Gregorian calendar is solar, which means it’s more eco-friendly.

On a side note, I wonder how folks back 3,000 years ago reminded themselves of important dates and times? The only tablets they could store info on were made of stone. It would have taken far too long to chisel out one of those 10-minute appointment alerts we get on our smart phones today.

And poor Moses. If he only had one of today’s navigation systems to rely on, he could’ve greatly reduced that 40-year schlep through the desert. Oh, how I wish he could’ve taken advantage of my brain child navigation system for Jews: On-Star of David.

Imagine, too, just how much more rested Moses and our people would’ve been if they could’ve left the schlepping through the desert up to a hired Jewber driver? Or an autonomous driven camel no less. By the way, I should have known better than to think the Jewber idea was original. I searched Jewber on YouTube and found a parody about a Jewber driver —  a worried Jewish mother who insists on driving you around town safely. Go ahead; look it up.

Speaking of driving … I hope you’ll join me in my latest communal endeavor to help improve our horrendous roads courtesy of Passover. This Sunday, I’ll be out filling in area potholes with leftover charoset.

Alan Muskovitz
Alan Muskovitz
Contributing Writer

Alan Muskovitz is a writer, voice-over/acting talent, speaker, emcee and guest host on the Mitch Album Show on WJR AM 760. Visit laughwithbigal.com and “Like” Al on Facebook.

 

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