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When I Couldn’t Decide What to Write About

It’s almost 1 a.m. in Israel and I am determined to write another JN blog post on holistic health!

And yet, I am completely overwhelmed by all the different topics I could write about. So far, we’ve explored the nature of stress and your autonomic nervous system, the five elements and their relationship to the seasons of the year, what oriental movement and healing arts have taught me about the learning process, doing nothing — so simple yet so complicated — and a little bit about Zen Shiatsu.

What’s next?

Well, gee, I don’t know. In light of my struggles to find a topic for this blog post, maybe decision-making and its impact on your wellbeing and your quality of life would be a good option.

So, as I sit here unable to decide on a worthwhile topic, there are a few things I am noticing: my brain is tied up like a knot. I can feel the creases above my eyebrows deepening. I’m holding my jaw and shoulders in place. I’m also holding my breath. The air is stuck somewhere up in my chest. And there’s also a lot of excitement in my heart. I am just so thrilled by all the possibilities that I can hardly breathe!

Yep, that’s a lot of energy up there — far away from earth.

What does that have to do with decision-making?

When I think of decision making, I think of the word landing. Choosing one — just one — out of many ideas and getting to work on it. How tragic! How disappointing! Those are usually my sentiments.

Why disappointing?

My mind is not bound to life’s constraints. I can conjure up all sorts of wonderful plans and ideas — perhaps much more than I could fulfill in a lifetime, and certainly more than I could fulfill in one writing session.

Not only that, but when I come down to Earth, I discover all sorts of limitations and obstacles to making things happen. Emotional. Circumstantial. Maybe I have not yet fully developed this wonderful idea in my mind and no matter how many times I try to make a decent blog post out of it, it’s just not ripe.

How insulting is it that I have all these grandiose insights I want to share, but when it comes down to writing out even just one, all I get is a series of incoherent statements?

What I’m beginning to realize is that my ideas and insights are totally important, but they also make me stubborn and narrow-minded. Those things are paralyzing. So yes, in a way the mind is unconstrained, and I can really do whatever I want there. But it is beneath my feet where I see the path I’m standing on.

And as I begin to breathe, past my chest and all the way to the ground, my attention turns all the way out to the horizon. Dozens of new trails come into view. My brain begins to untangle. I take just one step down a path that seems interesting enough — today, I took Decision-Making Boulevard. Tomorrow, I’ll find myself on a different trailhead with new, and maybe unexpected, creative possibilities.

Noa Granot

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