For Openers: Department of Redundancy Department
Sy Manello Editorial Assistant
We don’t usually choose to waste words. However, some bad habits have crept into our conversations and we often repeat ourselves.
Have you ever recounted to someone what happened at 10 a.m. in the morning? (There is no other 10 a.m.) But you heard from a close personal friend (which a friend is expected to be; otherwise, he is an acquaintance) of an unexpected surprise (which surprises are by nature.)
In a moment of hopeful optimism (if not hopeful, then it is pessimism), your two twins (if more, they are triplets, etc.) bought you a bouquet of flowers (which is what bouquets are.)
Have you noticed that foreign imports (we don’t have domestic ones) rarely feature new innovations? (If old, they are not innovative). This may instill intense fury, cloud future prospects and cancel out any desirable benefits. (Are you still with me and nodding in agreement as you recognize these?)
Let me practice some mental telepathy. When you were last in a live audience and saw a wall mural in the studio, you joined together with a bald-headed anonymous stranger to compare past histories for the purpose of a very unique experience.
When out and about, have you visited an ATM machine? Then you were challenged to remember your PIN number. Did you ever check the UPC code on a parcel before it disappeared from sight?
Well, not to over exaggerate, but in my personal opinion, our conversations are doomed to total destruction if we continue on with what we deem absolutely essential expressions. The final outcome will be, as an added bonus, that less wordy speakers will become fewer in number. Perhaps I should postpone until later thinking about that.
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