There is plenty of madness to go around this month, from March Madness to forgetting all of your computer passwords.
By Alan Muskovitz
The month of March is over, but March Madness, the NCAA basketball tournament, is not. The championship game is this Monday night and while I’m writing this column days in advance of that, I’m praying one of the teams is sporting green.
If you’re not a basketball fan, it turns out there were plenty of other March Madnesses to go around.
The much-anticipated Mueller Report was delivered to the attorney general on March 22. I’m sure by the time you’re reading this, that subject will be ancient history, a thing of the past, water under the bridge. I’m sure by now all cable news networks have moved on to discuss other pressing news, not the least of which is the commendable compromising our politicians on both sides of the aisle in Washington are making on the issues of the day.
I wrote that last paragraph with my tongue so far into my cheek that it’s going to require an ENT to surgically retrieve it.
One of the things that we can all be thankful for is that we can now go back to focusing our attention on something of more immediate importance … the next presidential election, which is, don’t look now … only 20 months away!
Running for president, whether you’re the challenger or the incumbent, requires quite a balancing act. In most cases, you need the ability to ignore the job you were currently elected to do while focusing on the next job you want. And get paid for doing it!
Imagine Matt Patricia spending next season as the Lions head coach traveling the country actively trying to convince another team owner to hire him? On second thought, that’s not a good analogy because nobody hires a former Lions head coach to coach their team.
The other madness that made headlines in March, was the incredible multi-million-dollar college admissions scam involving parents, coaches and administrators. Actresses Lori Loughlin and Felicity Huffman were among the most notable charged with trying to buy their kids way into school. Ironically, one of the story problems on the kids’ doctored SAT tests was “if a parent illegally pays millions to get their kid into college, how many millions of dollars will it take to get the parent out on bail?”
Meanwhile, now that spring has sprung, one of my spring-cleaning tasks is to organize the dozens upon dozens of computer passwords I’ve created over the years. I have a binder that houses a variety of passwords for my email addresses, utility bill payments, subscriptions, bank accounts, etc., each given its own 8½” x 11” sheet, each password made up of a combination of letters, numbers and symbols that even the Russians would have trouble hacking.
Don’t be fooled. It sounds like I’m organized, but my password world is a mess. I have a terrible habit of removing my password sheets from their binder, losing the sheet, leaving me no choice but to create a new password. If I had a dollar for every time I had to click the “Forgot Your Password” button trying to access an account, I’d have enough money to bribe someone to get my kid into a prestigious college.
How bad does it get? I just invested in a new Mac laptop, which initially required me to enter my Apple ID password to get my programs up and running. However, in the process, I entered the wrong password consecutively so many times that, for security reasons, Apple locked me out of my own computer. I had to call “Apple Care” tech support to get me out of password jail.
Meanwhile, the good news is here I sit having successfully finished writing my latest JN column. The bad news, I’m going to be delayed moving onto my next task — responding to emails — because I can’t locate or remember my Gmail password. March is over but Muskovitz Madness marches on.
Alan Muskovitz is a writer, voice-over/acting talent, speaker, and emcee. Visit his website at laughwithbigal.com,“Like” Al on Facebook and reach him at email@example.com.