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While Alan Muskovitz continues to wade in the shallow end of the normalcy pool, it seems like most people around him have taken the dive back into the deep end.

As verified by an in-depth look at my Google calendar, since Jan. 14, 2021, I have taken one flu shot, two shingles shots, two COVID vaccines and two boosters.

That’s seven shots in 16 months — or more “shots” than I took over the course of my three-year junior high school basketball career. I didn’t even “do” shots in five years of college. But I would prefer my next shot come out of a tequila bottle than a vile.  

Alan Muskovitz
Alan Muskovitz
Contributing Writer

The COVID flavor of the day continues to be the BA.2 variant. However, South Africa is now currently experiencing the spread of the BA.4 and BA.5. It’s beginning to sound like a weird variant of Bingo. Sure makes you yearn for the fall of 2019 BC (Before COVID).   

It’s only been over the last three or four months that I’ve ever so slightly dipped my toe back into the shallow end of the “normalcy” pool. I’m back having breakfast rendezvous with friends and occasional lunch outings during less busier times in restaurants. As I’m sure you can relate, handling the pandemic is now as much a psychological challenge as it is physical. 

While I continue to wade in the shallow end of the normalcy pool, it seems like most people around me have taken the dive back into the deep end. There isn’t a day that doesn’t go by that I don’t see someone posting Facebook photos of their recent Caribbean cruise, trips to Florida or Arizona, and attendance at sporting events and concerts.

Pandemic aside, I’ve regularly lived vicariously through other folks’ adventures anyway because, well, I’m a homebody at heart. Quarantining over the last couple of years only reinforced my natural desire to stick close to home. I’m as satisfied sitting on my patio listening to the rustling leaves as a gentle wind blows across my face, as I would be watching the wake off the back of a cruise ship. Which reminds me, I need to start having midnight buffets at home. 

The fact is, while my calendar has been peppered with vaccine shots over the last year-and-a-half, the truth is no other scheduled events pop up on my docket that would come close to eliciting a “yippee” by most “normal” folks. But the mundane has a strange way of satisfying me.

For instance, if you look on my calendar, you’ll see that this past Jan. 11, besides being the birthday of my wonderful mother, of blessed memory, was also the day I documented performing my every two-week nasal mask and filter exchange on my CPAP machine. A breath of fresh air, if you will, during COVID.

I have done some light traveling. On Feb. 22, I ventured out to a podiatrist appointment, on March 14 I had an excursion to my urologist’s office for my annual prostate exam, and on March 28 I picked up my taxes from my accountant, which, by the way, left me with a similar sensation as I had when I left my urologist’s office.  

Yep, I’m all over the map, which is why it’s a good thing on Feb. 1 my wife and I drove to Livonia for an appointment to sign up for … TSA Pre-Check! We haven’t flown in more than two years, but the next time we do, which is not in the foreseeable future, we will breeze right through the gates!

Oh, I’m not through. On April 2 I went to Costco to renew our membership, and on April 4 I had a tele-med appointment with my sleep doctor. 

But two events that I wait for every year with great excitement were yet to come — West Bloomfield’s Annual Household Hazardous Waste and Shredding Collection events on April 9 and April 23 respectively. I cannot adequately express how rejuvenated and free I feel every year when I’m able to dispense of old batteries, fluorescent light bulbs, unused prescription drugs and years’ worth of old documents and bills.

Lest you think I live a pathetic existence, worry not. I’m right where I want to be. Mark Twain said: “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the things you did.” Not me. I’m never disappointed by what I don’t do because I don’t want to do anything in the first place. Except maybe be a motivational speaker. 

 Visit his website at laughwithbigal.com,“Like” Al on Facebook and reach him at amuskovitz@thejewishnews.com.

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